Let me ask you a question.  Were you one of the girls in school who:

  • Looked amazing even in school uniform?
  • Always had gorgeous hair?
  • Always got great grades?
  • Was picked for every sports team?
  • Was the lead role in the school play?
  • Had a huge circle of friends?
  • The boys swarmed around like a honeypot?

If not you are not alone! Most of us can remember sitting on the outside of that group.  I certainly remember looking in with my proverbial green nose pressed up against the window.

Our tendency to compare ourselves with others, otherwise known as Social Comparison Theory, is a natural human response.

We blame a lot of social comparison issues on the media.  We love to blame the rise of celebrity culture and the pressure of social media.  Everyone seems to be looking prettier, having a fantastic time, wearing the most amazing outfits etc.

I recently read a blog about happiness.  There was one comment which made me laugh, although it has a sad ring of truth. ‘Social Media is like Social Comparison on Steroids’ (Lindsay Lavine).

Social Media undoubtedly fuels any insecurity issues that we already have and may create a few more. Try switching off or going on a complete digital detox to see the effect.

Remember that you are simply comparing yourself to the brief moment they’ve shared on social media.

Their life may be totally different from the elements they are prepared to share on social media.  You are not living their life, feeling as they do.  Nor experiencing their life. You are only ever seeing a snapshot of their lives.

You also need to remember that this is only your interpretation of what their life is like.

Consider this example.  You regularly see a woman who looks amazing whatever she wears. Have you ever stopped to ask her how she feels about herself? Have you ever spoken to her and found that she has her own insecurities?  Do you know if she spends time comparing herself to others?

The chances are that she’s suffering from her own insecurities or compares herself to others, finding herself wanting.

Even if you’re not tempted to ask her, at least acknowledge you don’t know much about her.

Now turn your attention to the one person you do know very well – you!

Put together a list of positive mantras to repeat to yourself. You should begin to realise that you are a unique and special person.

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Keep a gratitude journal for at least a fortnight. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. It can be anything but as we’re focusing on style tips give priority to your style. Maybe you’ve worn something that’s attracted a few complements for example.